Sister dearest
by TheDarkLord'sMistress
Summary: Effie's sister comes to visit. Haymitch isn't thrilled.


"Haymitch Abernathy, get out of bed right now!"

Haymitch groaned, pulling a pillow over his head to muffle Effie's shrill voice."Take your shrieking somewhere else, Trinket!"

"Get up!"she insisted, dragging his covers away from him."You have to get up, now, and _please _try to make yourself look somewhat representable!"

"There's nothing happening today,"he mumbled from under the pillow."Why the hell would I get up at the crack of dawn?"

He could hear the impatient tapping of her high-heeled shoe against the floor and knew the she was bound to have her hands on her hips, lips pursed in annoyance."Firstly, noon is hardly the crack of dawn. Secondly, my sister will be here soon, as you very well know!"

"Sister?"he echoed, finally removing the pillow and blinking up at her."You have a sister? And she's coming here? Now?"

"Yes, you tedious man,"she snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation."I told you a hundred times!"

"You did no such thing,"Haymitch replied, sitting up slowly, raising a hand to his pounding head."Another one of the likes of you seems like something I'd remember."

Effie looked ready to kill by now."I just reminded you _yesterday_, Abernathy!"

"I was drunk, princess,"he said."Don't tell me things when I'm drunk."

"Well, that makes things difficult, doesn't it? You're never not drunk!"

And with that, she dragged him out of bed and shoved him towards the bathroom."Don't you dare embarrass me, Haymitch!"

* * *

Haymitch had barely stepped out of his room and have Effie give him a once-over when the elevator opened and a whirlwind of colour flew at the escort."Effie, darling, look at you! Big shot escort! Well, it's just District Twelve, but still! Don't you look fabulous?"

Haymitch was astounded that her voice was actually more painful to listen to than Effie's and her clothing even more absurd.

The flamboyant green and yellow of her dress seemed in danger of blinding you if you looked at it for more than a few seconds, her shoes had an utterly horrendous snake decoration on them and her glasses (which, with all the Capitol surgeons, were surely just a fashion statement) were covered in rhinestones. Not to mention the odd little hat perched atop her massive curls.

The new arrival suddenly noticed Haymitch and broke off in her chattering, giving Effie a stern look."Manners, darling. Won't you introduce us?"

Haymitch almost snorted at the look on the escort's face that clearly stated that she, too, was very aware of not having been given the chance to get a word in edgewise, let alone an introduction.

But she just smiled, as she always did."Rita, this is Haymitch Abernathy. Haymitch, my older sister Rita."

"Oh, shush, you!"the woman tittered."You make me sound ancient! Pleasure to meet you, Haymitch. I can call you Haymitch? Rita Skeeter, at your service."

She held out her hand to him at an angle that suggested she expected him to kiss it, but he just awkwardly shook her hand instead."Skeeter?"

"Oh, yes, yes, of course. Can't go around with a name like Rita Trinket, can I?"Rita said as though this were obvious."No one would take me seriously as a journalist with a name like that, would they?"

Haymitch was very tempted to point out that, while 'Rita Trinket' might sound ridiciulous, 'Rita Skeeter' seemed more of a step into the wrong direction, but was saved from doing so by the sisters breaking out in a fast, high-pitched gabfest that would surely leave him deaf.

* * *

"And one tribute still alive after more than two days, that's a first for Twelve since, oh, who knows when?"Rita said, oblivious to her sister's face falling at the mention of little Toby in the Arena.

Haymitch wished for nothing more than to get up and away from the two Capitol women but every time he made the slightest move to do so, Effie's eyes sent daggers his way.

He felt like the conversation (if you could count Rita's yapping with the occasional remark from Effie as a conversation) might turn to his Games if the subject didn't change, so he spoke for the first time in what felt like hours."So, Rita, what do you do?"

She positively lit up at the chance to talk about herself and the little groan from Effie made Haymitch regret his change of subject before Rita even started speaking."Oh, I'm a journalist. Or, at least, I want to be. It's horrendously difficult to get into the right circles here. To get the good dirt on everyone, you know. And getting insider info on the Games would be just fab, pretty much make your career for you, don't you agree? But, as I said, such information is hard to come by. I was this close,"she held up thumb and forefinger barely half an inch apart,"to sleeping with Caesar Flickerman just to get to the center of things. But then, of course, little Effie got to be an escort!"

She paused in her rant to pat Effie's cheek in what she clearly thought was an affecionate way but actually seemed rather patronising."I mean, of course it's only filthy little District Twelve, but it's a start!"

She smiled an unnervingly cheerful smile, either not aware that this might offend anyone or simply not caring. Haymitch assumed the latter.

"But I don't think Effie minds, do you, darling?"Rita continued with a wink to her sister before turning back to Haymitch."You know, ever since she was a little girl she's had the hugest crush on – _Ouch!_ Effie, you kicked me!"

"Did I?"the escort said, eyes wide with mock concern."I'm ever so sorry, Rita. My foot must have slipped. Did you see Cinobia's winter collection yet? It's _so _your colour!"

Any other time Haymitch would have been suspicious of the sudden subject change, but the discussion of Capitol Couture distracted both women enough for him to sneak off for a much needed drink, so Effie's odd behaviour was quickly dismissed.

* * *

Much later, Effie plopped down on the couch next to Haymitch rather less ladylike than usually and grabbed his drink from his hand, downing it with one gulp."I know it's horrible, but I'm glad I don't see her much."

Haymitch refilled the glass for her and took a swig from the bottle."Never thought I'd say it, but you're not the most annoying person in the world. You're pleasant enough to be around."

For a moment, she actually thought he was being nice. Then he added,"You know, when compared to that demented sister of yours."


End file.
